June 21, 2007Age: 2 weeks
I wanted images that would remind me how small the babies are. How perfectly detailed. I wanted to be able to remember the way they instinctively intertwine when they are close to each other. And how having the other next to her is all she really needs for comfort. Before the fat rolls, I wanted to be able to picture the frailty of skin over a tiny structure. I needed to be reminded of the stark color difference in their complexion, a fleeting marker of what could have been, but wasn't.
It took a long time to take these pictures. Josie would not close her eyes for anything. Jennie just wanted to nurse. It was hot out, and mom had the other two girls entertaining them. I got peed on. A known risk while holding a naked baby.
Can an image capture all that is in one's heart?
As their mother, I am simply awe struck. I want to devour myself in their innocence. And at the same time, I try to shake the internal pang, speaking to the fact that I simply do not deserve them.
I love these pictures.
